“It’s okay to have a heated discussion to convince someone to behave differently. It’s not okay to have a heated discussion to convince them that they’re bad. That’s not a decent thing to do to a person and it cannot possibly produce a useful result. If you find yourself arguing the thesis ‘you are bad and you should feel bad,’ stop. There is absolutely nowhere good that can go. If you want them to apologize, change their ways, or make amends to you, say so directly. A litany of why they’re so bad—even if every bit of it is true—will only make both of you feel terrible.” —
I think this has been on my blog before, but oh well. Here it is again.
I really, really want to learn this. I keep trying. It’s a slow process.
“People sometimes ask me, ‘If things are so bad, why don’t you just kill yourself?’ The answer is that life is really, really good. I am a complex enough being that I can hold in my heart the understanding that we are really, really fucked, and at the same time that life is really, really good. I am full of rage, sorrow, joy, love, hate, despair, happiness, satisfaction, dissatisfaction, and a thousand other feelings. We are really fucked. Life is still really good.” —Derrick Jensen (via solitaryforager)